Travelogue

I spent many weeks that past year traveling. I love it! But last night I dreamed about the ways that all travel is the same travel. We go different places and see different things but the impulse to travel and the hijinks along the way can be logged as a set of formulas.

Travelogue

By Catherine Spainhour

We awaken with the idea of travel! Things at home are

Boring

Stale

Hectic

and we want to

Adventure

Getaway

See the sights

Breathe some fresh air

Break out of our routines.

So we

Search the internet for places to go

Reach out to a travel agent

Ask our friends about the places they just visited.

We live as voyeurs thinking about travel for a while.

We fill Pinterest boards with pictures of places to go

We listen to audiobooks that take place in these wonderful places.

Rick Steve must have a travel video about this place.

We find online apps and practice key phrases in

Español

Français

Lingua italiana

Deutsch

Ελληνικά

日本語

عربي

Português

Tiếng Việt

Русский

norsk

Gaeilge.

We spend nights filling our ears with the accents of the people who speak our native tongue but who sound very different from us.

Derry Girls

The Crown

Wallace and Gromit

Outlander

And any BBC dramas

Crocodile Dundee

Treme

Seinfeld

Justified

Cheers.

Suddenly, we find ourselves uttering lyrical phrases that are not our own and inflecting these accents as we wander through our days.

We note that we must not do this on our trip.

We make lists!

Packing lists

To-do lists

Restaurants

Cafes

Local museums

Lists of friends who live near our destination.

We compile paperwork

Tickets

Passports

Immunization Cards

Driver’s Licenses

Pet-Sitter Care Instructions.

We make arrangements

Find a Pet-Sitter

Schedule our Uber

Ask a neighbor to watch our house

Arrange someone to water our plants

Remember to early check-in for our flight

We pack and repack.

The night before our travel, we try to sleep.

Finally, we

Drive

Take a train

Board our ship

Maybe fly.

We arrive

Exhausted

Excited

Nervous

Cross.

We continue with the logistics of travel

Taxi, Uber or Metra to our lodging

Find something to drink and eat

Locate our bags or

File missing bag paperwork

Charge our phones and devices

Go out or pass out.

Now, we can sleep

Or has sleep hidden from us again?

Refreshed or hung over; either way, morning comes.

The sunrise is so glorious

The rainy morning is so cozy

These cobblestones are so lovely

This humidity is so great for my skin

The dry air is so refreshing

I love the ocean breeze blowing my hair.

When I go home, I am going to make a pot of tea every afternoon

I think I will go hike for 5 miles

Let’s have dessert after every meal

Look at that view

Look at my entrée

Look at the art

Look out the window

Look

Look.

Travel is so wonderful.

It is so

so

wonderful to see the sea

the mountains

the flowers

the waterfall

the cliffs.

It’s so green

so blue

so golden yellow

so red

so orange.

Everything is clean

Well-maintained

Rugged

Barren

Crowded.

People are so nice

So friendly

So funny

So interesting.

We walk, eat, shop, hike, eat, engage, see sites, appreciate art. We are with our favorite friends meeting new friends. All is so wonderful. At night, we go to sleep with full bellies.

Except this morning,

I have a stomachache from last night’s feast

My travel companion won’t get up and it’s time to go

The lovely cobblestones are wrecking my ankles

Our hosts are getting on my nerves

The sun is beaming in the window right into my eyes

I wanted to sleep in, but housekeeping knocked on my door

Why can’t I get a proper cup of coffee in this hotel

Why won’t that dog stop barking

Why is there no hot water for my shower

Why is it so humid

Why is it so dry

How can I be so tired?

We explore for days and days if we are lucky

We get over the bug we caught in the airport

We learn to hydrate to compensate for the lack of humidity

We allow ourselves to rest

We allow ourselves to take time away from our companions.

The noisy folks on the train reach their destination.

Eventually, vacation ends.

And we return home happy to return to our comfortable resting places.

Normalcy is a comfort.

My coffee mug at my desk is right where I left it.

We love the routine of an ordinary day.

Until one day

We awaken with the idea of travel!

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